Hosting Without the Stress: What I’ve Learned So Far
Or, a recovering overthinker’s guide to effortless entertaining
If there’s one thing I’ve been trying to do more of this year, it’s host. Not elaborate dinner parties or Instagram-perfect gatherings—just simple, joyful get-togethers that bring people together over good food and wine.
Hosting never intimidated me; I love doing it. My issue in the past was that I never used to make a plan. I would then over-cook and stress myself into thinking everything needed to be perfect. I would attempt to take on more than I can handle, and then the guests would arrive, and I was either trying to catch up on the cooking, or I would had to ditch some elements of the meal because I ran out of time. But the more I actually do it, the more I realize hosting is a skill—and one that gets easier and more fun with practice.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way.
1. Plan Like a Host, Not a Chef
I usually plan on a note pad or right in my day planner.
Early on, I made the classic mistake of planning too many dishes or making dishes with too many elements, all too complicated. You end up in the kitchen the whole time while your guests have fun without you.
Now, I plan my menus around one “hero” dish (a great roast chicken, a big salad, or a beautiful cheese board) and fill in the rest with things I can prep ahead or assemble easily. Hosting isn’t about showcasing your culinary range—it’s about creating a welcoming vibe.
I make a list of all my dishes and drinks in the order that they will be served (welcome cocktail, appetizers, main dish, sides and condiments, and dessert) and then read over each recipe and plan what day and at what time I need to prep and then cook things so they are ready when they need to be. I do this old school with a pad of paper and a pen.
2. Prep What You Can—Then Let Go
Prep early, play later!
The magic is in the pre-work. If you can slice, marinate, chill, or style it ahead of time, do it. This makes things feel so much smoother once people arrive. Even simple things like setting the table or lighting candles in advance help get you into the right headspace. This is when my list and timing map come in handy.
Once the guests arrive, let go of the to-do list and be present. No one remembers whether the salad had fresh herbs, but they will remember how relaxed and happy you seemed.
3. 🍴 Simplify the Menu, Elevate the Mood
Simple > Impressive
Not every dish needs to impress. Some of the most memorable meals I’ve had were based on simplicity: bread, butter, wine, cheese, and conversation. It’s more important that people feel comfortable and fed than wowed.
Put your energy into one or two great elements (like a fun wine pairing or a killer dessert), and keep the rest simple. Put on a playlist. Pour the wine. Boom—ambience achieved.
4. Pour Yourself a Glass While You Cook
Hosting rule #1: The cook drinks too.
This one’s non-negotiable.
Whether it’s a chilled white while you are prepping veggies or a bold red while the pasta simmers, having a glass of wine while cooking makes it feel less like work and more like a ritual. You’re hosting, but you’re also allowed to enjoy yourself. If you are cooking with wine, pour yourself a glass before you use it in the recipe, or pick your favourite cocktail or wine.
Bonus: it puts your guests at ease to see you relaxed and vibing in your own kitchen.
5. Little Touches Go a Long Way
Here are a few “extras” I’ve started leaning on when I want to add a little magic without much effort:
A playlist that sets the tone (Spotify is your friend)
A quick 10-minute tidy and a candle or two
Cloth napkins or mismatched wine glasses—anything that feels “special enough”
None of this needs to be fancy. It just needs to reflect you.
Hosting Is a Skill—Joy Is the Secret Ingredient
Hosting gets easier. Joy is the secret ingredient.
Like anything else, hosting gets easier the more you do it. And the truth is, no one’s expecting perfection. They’re just happy to be invited into your space, eat your food, and spend time with you.
So light the candles. Pour the wine. Don’t stress if the potatoes are a little overdone. You’re doing great.
Got a hosting hack or disaster story to share? I’d love to hear it—put it in the comments below or message me on Instagram @jennval_winegal
Let’s keep making gathering feel simple, joyful, and full of flavour.
